Frequently Unasked Questions

As Asked of Matt

Frequently Unasked Questions

These are the questions asked about me way too much, and therefore come to this page to be less asked. This is why we have a Frequently Unasked Questions page rather than a Frequently Asked Questions page.

Featured FUQ:

  • How can I support you?
  • Other FUQs:

  • So you actually created this?
  • What the FUQ is up with you?
  • Where did that cool background come from?
  • Why are you so mean?
  • Are you proud to be an American?
  • Nominate this question as "Stupidest of the Year!"
  • Never mind, this should be the stupidest.
  • Why are you bored?
  • What the heck is Blarg?
  • How do you pronounce FUQ?
  • NEW: When was the last time you updated this page?
  • Featured FUQ:

    How can I support you?

    For now, you can give me a reason to update this site: keep coming back! Soon, I plan on adding a PayPal link so you can give me some cold, hard cash to pay the bills with (bandwidth, hosting, etc.) and if I make enough money off of that, ditching the idea of getting a job and living completely off of mattfast1 - the fast one money. After all, I am one of the biggest slackers you will ever meet.

    Other FUQs:

    So you actually created this?

    Yeah, I did. Well, OK, so some of the design elements were "inspired" by another web site... but I swear, I re-created all the code on my own!

    What the FUQ is up with you?

    I donno, what the FUQ is up with you?

    Where did that cool background come from?

    If you knew how to read, you would be able to see the "credits" section on the left of every page. Then you would see that it links to the "Special Thanks To..." section of the links page. A little further digging would reveal that, by holding your cursor over each link, it tells you what each site did to inspire me and/or one that I've stolen content from.

    Why are you so mean?

    The current explanation is that I am a product of the American public school system.

    Are you proud to be an American?

    Of course. Whether I am proud of my president is a different story. I am a Patriot, not a Nationalist or a Jingoist.

    Is it copyright infringement to name my son Matt?

    No! I cannot copyright a word in the English Language, as Bill Gates has tried to do several times.

    What about Joe?

    Stop talking. Now. You don't deserve the privileges of lips, vocal cords, or life.

    Why do you get bored so damn easily?

    I usually don't, now. It's just a matter of who I can round up on short order to commit various acts of Blarg.

    What the heck is Blarg?

    Blarg is the term used to describe many things. It could refer to me, it could refer to anything I do, it even substitutes as a verb, adjective, or a noun. It is a very unique entity in the language of English. True, there is also an ISP in Seattle named Blarg, but this is the only place in the website (as of $Date: 2008-04-20 08:33:23 -0700 (Sun, 20 Apr 2008) $) that we have ever referred to them.

    This was started sometime during the production of The Buff Buccaneer by Sho (Manga Otaku), when he started calling me the Blarg. Since then, we have used the term for all the used detailed above, and more.

    How do you pronounce FUQ?

    Take the first two letters, add a 'ck' to the end, and pronounce that.

    When was the last time you updated this?

    I donno, I pretty much just wrote it once years ago and never bothered touching this file again, except to add this answer and PHP-ify it. I suppose I should go update the "about me" page, too.